"The Fairy Tale Insane Asylum," by Ian S.

In the Insane Asylum for Fairy Tale Characters.

It’s the only place I’ve got to call home.

My only friend is Geppetto, if I can even call him a friend. I don’t even know if I can trust him, but he’s better than the other people here. He plays with marionettes, and calls them his children. We all know that they are fake, but we don’t tell that to the old hag.

  

If there is one person that you want to stay away from in here, that person has got to be Cinderella. She always insists that all of her clothes are made by her little rodent friends. She says that a “Fairy Godmother” came to turn all of her pumpkins into carriages, and her rags into beautiful gowns. 

She’s a psychopath; but aren’t we all.

Another person (or animal) that you want to stay away from is The Cow. I believe he hallucinates every night about going to the moon and back. No cow has ever done it, and no cow will ever. Well, that’s what I thought, until the day Buzz Aldrin ate a McDouble on the moon.

But who am I?

My name is Paul Bunyan. I carry around an axe everywhere I go, and ride on a big blue ox. I’m either color blind, or crazy. But I’m in here, so the answer is pretty obvious. I wear overalls and chop down trees for fun. So far, I’ve set hundreds of forest fires, and chopped down thousands of trees. But right now, I’m stuck here.

It’s the only place I’ve got to call home.

In the Insane Asylum for Fairy Tale Characters.